Can’t even enjoy sports anymore!

I can’t handle the commercials shown during football games anymore. I’d like to be able to go 2 minutes without being reminded of my pending medical doom. I’ve seen so many erectile dysfunction spots that by halftime I’m usually just staring at my dick, waiting for it to scream fall over and die! Of course impotence might not be so bad, because according to the “cyalis” commercial a middle-aged man can’t get a bonner without disaster ensuing!(need 36 hrs to find 5 minutes to get off) Which your warned that you can only take this medicine if “your healthy enough for sex”! How am i supposed to find the will to go on when I’m being told that pretty soon my doctor is gonna tell me: “Well Daryl, I’ve got 8,000 different pills that can cure your E.D., but I can’t give you any of them because as a man past 30 your so physically fucked that the stress of that erection will kill you if the meteor dosn’t hit your house first.
But thats only one of the hurdles I’ll face, not only will my penis be useless for sex, i won’t even be able to pee without help!(gotta fix that “growing” problem) Fortunately my bowels will still move, in fact, they’ll be moving whether I won’t them to or not!(adult diapers) I just can’t wait to be the guy standing at the urinal straining with everything i have to piss in vain, while shitting myself the whole time! Turns out the prostate is the Ford Pinto of bodily organs!

This has been a Devious Daryl Venting

World of Warcraft: miniatures game

This is what you display in your house if you feel that a sign reading: “I’ve given up on ever seeing a vagina in person” just doesn’t quite get the point across.

The last “toys of the season” I think

I planned to end this series around Christmas, but I’ve been cruising the clearance isles and I’ve found some more real winners. These are all along the same lines so I’ll include them on one post, but I will give you separate jokes for each. So that makes you the big winner! Let me know which you prefer

Toy Washing Machine: Can be found in the isle marked “Honor your culture by promoting sex-based sterotypes”

 

My first Ironing Board: “Cause you get more money for the child-slaves that are already trained”

 

Another Toy Washing Machine: “Don’t get caught without a back-up plan if the misses escapes the basement”